Use the schema explained above: Tell God about the situation, listen to God and scripture, dialogue with God as you reflect.
Step 1
Lord, I have just received a serious diagnosis. It has shaken me. I would love to know how long I have, but the doctor, understandably, is not going there yet. What am I to think? Whom should I tell? How should I tell them? How should I fight this disease? Should I fight this disease? What will this mean for the near future? How can I relate to You, my God, in this new situation?
Lord, how will you be with me and my family from here on? I have many more questions than answers. Although I have been well acquainted with mortality, it has been vicarious as I’ve witnessed and accompanied others in their last days. I’ve tried not to give advice but rather accompany, but now I need to advise myself, and You, my Lord, would You advise me, accompany me, purify me, comfort me.
What do I think about Life and Death? Intellectually, I know that You have sovereignty over life and death. It is not for us to abort, to euthanize, to practice eugenics, to execute criminals. You know the time of my death; it is not for me to determine that. If I did determine that, would it be the right time? Would that time be better than your time?
After the resurrection, with every appearance, Jesus said, Peace be with you. Not as the world gives peace does the Lord give peace. What is the peace that you offer to me? How do I find it, open myself to be its subject?
Do I fear death? Do I fear You? Somewhat, yes. In my early education, death was used as a control mechanism to get good behavior. You were portrayed as One to be feared for similar control reasons. I have come to learn and be taught, that the One to be Feared, is not you. It is anthropomorphic. Should I fear your retribution or fear not loving You because You are Love. I hope my fear is about ruining a Friendship rather than scoring points on an accounting ledger for eternity.
Let me start Lord, by saying, that I want to love You as imperfect as that may be. I want to be close to the Father who created me, to Jesus, His Son, who accompanies me and to the Holy Spirit who helps me discern, to pray, to act justly and piously in this world. If I can maintain and deepen my relationship with you, some of my questions may start to be answered or even become irrelevant.
Lastly, Lord, let me not, recede into a shell with this illness. I know that can happen. Let me open and loving with those who love me, worry for me and are afraid that they will love me. Help them to deal with this in a peaceful way. It won’t make our separation painless but perhaps it can be peaceful for them and for me.
Step Two
Scripture
Martha and Mary had a hard time dealing with the death of their brother Lazarus, whom some identify with the “Beloved Disciple.” They said to Jesus, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.
| Psalm 86
I Incline your ear, LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and oppressed.
2 Preserve my life, for I am devoted;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3 be gracious to me, Lord;
to you I call all the day.
4 Gladden the soul of your servant;
to you, Lord, I lift up my soul.
5 Lord, you are good and forgiving,
most merciful to all who call on you.
6 LORD, hear my prayer;
listen to my cry for help.
7 On the day of my distress I call to you,
for you will answer me.
PSALM 116
1 I love the LORD, who listened
to my voice in supplication,
2 Who turned an ear to me
on the day I called.
3 I was caught by the cords of death;
the snares of Sheol had seized me;
I felt agony and dread.
4 Then I called on the name of the LORD,
“O LORD, save my life!”
II 5 Gracious is the LORD and righteous;
yes, our God is merciful.
6 The LORD protects the simple;
I was helpless, but he saved me.
7 Return, my soul, to your rest;
the LORD has been very good to you.
8 For my soul has been freed from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
9 I shall walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.
III 10 *I kept faith, even when I said,
“I am greatly afflicted!”
11 I said in my alarm,
“All men are liars!”
12 How can I repay the LORD
for all the great good done for me?
13 I will raise the cup of salvation*
and call on the name of the LORD.
14 I will pay my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.
15 *Dear in the eyes of the LORD
is the death of his devoted.
16 LORD, I am your servant,
your servant, the child of your maidservant;
you have loosed my bonds.
17 I will offer a sacrifice of praise
and call on the name of the Lord
18 I will pay my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,
19 In the courts of the house of the LORD,
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Hallelujah!
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John 11: 1-44, The Raising of Lazarus.*
1 Now a man was ill, Lazarus from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. 2 Mary was the one who had anointed the Lord with perfumed oil and dried his feet with her hair; it was her brother Lazarus who was ill. 3 So the sisters sent word to him, saying, “Master, the one you love is ill.” 4 When Jesus heard this he said, “This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” 5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 So when he heard that he was ill, he remained for two days in the place where he was. 7 Then after this he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.” 8 The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just trying to stone you, and you want to go back there?” 9 Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in a day? If one walks during the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. 10 But if one walks at night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.” 11 He said this, and then told them, “Our friend Lazarus is asleep, but I am going to awaken him.” 12 So the disciples said to him, “Master, if he is asleep, he will be saved.” 13 But Jesus was talking about his death, while they thought that he meant ordinary sleep. 14 So then Jesus said to them clearly, “Lazarus has died. 15 And I am glad for you that I was not there, that you may believe. Let us go to him.” 16 So Thomas, called Didymus, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go to die with him.”
17 When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18 Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, only about two miles* away. 19 And many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them about their brother. 20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him; but Mary sat at home. 21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 [But] even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you.” 23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise.” 24 Martha said to him, “I know he will rise, in the resurrection on the last day.” 25 Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, 26 and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” 27 l She said to him, “Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.”
28 When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary secretly, saying, “The teacher is here and is asking for you.” 29 As soon as she heard this, she rose quickly and went to him. 30 For Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still where Martha had met him. 31 So when the Jews who were with her in the house comforting her saw Mary get up quickly and go out, they followed her, presuming that she was going to the tomb to weep there. 32 When Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come with her weeping, he became perturbed and deeply troubled, 34 and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Sir, come and see.” 35 And Jesus wept. 36 So the Jews said, “See how he loved him.” 37 But some of them said, “Could not the one who opened the eyes of the blind man have done something so that this man would not have died?”
38 So Jesus, perturbed again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay across it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the dead man’s sister, said to him, “Lord, by now there will be a stench; he has been dead for four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of God?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus raised his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you for hearing me. 42 I know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this, that they may believe that you sent me.” 43 And when he had said this, he cried out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth. So Jesus said to them, “Untie him and let him go.”
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Put together what you told God and what God told you. Converse with God